Thursday, April 12, 2012

dunia hati - How To Forget Someone You Love?

I can't forget about him his stuck in my mind how he talks his wonderful smile and his looks how can i forget about him.You need to be sure that by letting your partner go, you are doing the right thing. You both need to take some time to talk about feelings, and decide what the best thing to do is. You need to ensure that there is complete communication. You need to talk about the relationship and see how your partner responds. Keep calm and don’t make the focus of the conversation accusatory. Don’t play the blame game, express your opinion.Also, don’t let the conversation linger without getting to a point. Make sure you remain confident and direct in your approach by keeping your explanations and wishes concise. You should also give examples of your cause. You need to express how you have been affected by particular situations, and what emotions you have felt. Tell your partner what hurt you, and what upsets you. This helps pin point the precise issues that are problematic within the relationship. After communication, there is release. You need to make things final by setting new rules. You should make your breakup an even break up by no longer seeing each other, and allow yourself to heal properly. Don’t accept phone calls, emails or texts if your ex wants to check on you. This only creates confusion.Move on in your life, next, by making your new and available schedule with projects and activities with other people. Go places with your friends and family and catch up with things on your to do list that you may have put off prior to the break up. When you feel like you’re ready, get back out and meet new people who may be ‘more suitable’.

You should keep a distance from your ex for at least a few months, and maybe even a year, before you try and maintain a friendship. You need to have the person out of your system before trying to befriend them.I really think the best think someone can do is forgive him for all that thing he did to you and things he said .. Cuz you have to live the present of every new day and keep the memories as a special gift that would never come back to you .. If he chose not to stay with you or forgive you for whatever thing u have done .. Then he didnt love you enough to deserve you.. In others you guys weren't meant to be together ...In case he or she comes back talk straight up to each other and if you guys are wiling to change the past for a good for one the go ahead and do it right.. Dont get played or play with each other feeling BUT if he/she dont come back then dont worry hun he might b the only one today but you'll find some body better than him tomorrow .YOU are SPECIAL.. And YOU should Love YOURSELF First than anyone .

As every one suggested, time heals every untold pain in life. Love should end with marriage not with breakup until otherwise our wishes. Everything is happing for best. My best advise to everyone, dont expect happiness from others and dont stay where you fallen, just move forward without looking back. When time comes, even if you forcefully try to cry for the past miseries, we cannot. Then why should waste our present moments. It always presented by god for us, so dont waste you happiness.... Smile.... Smile.... Make true your wish by yourself.... If the people doesnt know your value then no need to stay there better smile and move.... Be happy always.... Life is full of wonders

I loved someone so so much, so truly, he meant so much to me. Whenever i use to see him my heart use to feel so happy, even a text from him would make me smile. I would do anything just to be with him and i know for a fact that no one else would love him more than me. Even he knows this...he said he loved me too and i meant everything to him, but now i think about it, it was all rubbish...he was a wimp who worries to much about what people think... To be honest i'm glad he's gone cus now i have better things in life and now i don't care about him, he doesnt mean anything. When i think of all his bad points i think good rid...one day it will hit him hard and i know for a fact he'l realise the value of my love...Hope every drop of tears that came out because of him hurts him in his heart.

Its very hard to forget someone you once loved with all your heart. I love this guy but he did not appreciate my love and he did not respect the my love for him. God has helped me a lot. Everyone who is going through the pain, just pray to God, he will lead the way and let Him be in control of the situation. He never fails, remember his love endures forever, he will never leave you nor forsake you. So why crying knowing that the is someone with unconditional love? You will find someone who will love and respect you.

I've lost a love of my life. I've been with her for 6 years...we practically grew up together. We have 1 lovely child together... Within 6 months she left me and now with someone else. I've tried to forget about her. What i realize is the more i try to forget someone the more i think about that person.... Telling yourself to forget the person you love is like telling yourself not to fall in love. Perhaps its not about forgetting the one you love.Maybe its about loving her enough to finally let her go and see her being happy. Its true and its hard to see your love is happy with someone else other than yourself. Truth is you only want to be with her to make her happy.... So why does it matter if she is happy with you or not??I believe what make breaking up so painful is the sudden changes....Someone that use to be by your side is no longer by your side, Someone that you can joke around with is no longer there, the dream you once share is now your own.... Its sucks , but that all part of growing up....You might not be able to spend the rest of your life with her, but be glad that you did spend part of your life with her.I've ran into this site that give good advice to help us move on, hopefully this would help :)

I don't know if sometimes nurturing memories about you & him/her is the best thing to do. I feel it leaves a door to remain opened for that person. Something like 'setting yourself up' to be hurt again...especially if you the one recipient of the heartbreak. I would say...time is the only thing that can heal all wounds. One day...you'll feel in your heart you can finally move on without feeling regret or that you'll be 'losing' someone that once was very special to you. I can say this only because I loved someone very, very much and suffered alot to forget him. He was able to move on with another person about a year ago despite he said he loved me more than this whole world. :P I don't know...this is my opinion and experience I been going through. Each situation is different. Sometimes it's easier to forget...sometimes it's a struggle. But I'll say again...one day...you'll feel it in your heart you can let go. I don't think you'll ever forget but you will overcome.

I feel a little bit calm as i knew that i am not the only one who experienced this horrible feeling of breaking up with someone. I admit that i was tortured after the break up and he seems to be my worse nightmare. But, if we really have the determination to forget someone, then we really can do it. Remember, forget the past and live the present. It is better to think how to improve yourselves so that you can be more success in the future than keep on mourning of your bad luck with him.. Your ex lover is not the only thing that can make you happy. When you success in the future, then you deserve to have a better lover and live happily ever after. Life with no regret unless you start to give up. Ok!

I'm in the same situation after 8 years in a relationship I decide to give up but I still love him and then I realize how could I love someone who doesn't love me as much that I love him is not fair to be so emotinal about him ladies we in the same boat either you black or white we are facing the same thing remenber one thing you got to love your self first for someone else to love you I'm not gonna drain myself out Jehovah will provide the good one for me I don't have to worry anymore he can go to some body else who can handle more problem than me

Hi friends, i had a relation for 5 years. For 5 years we had no problems. After the 5 th year she got placed in mnc. At that time i had papers to clear. We didnt have time to speak and i got over possessiveness. I became mad at her. And i shouted at her since i also going through toughest situation of my life. Both side had problems and we ended up in broken relation. The problem was with me and i said sorry and i never cheated her..She got fed up with me since i was really tensed and mad with her. I started taking sleeping pills to forget her. Even each day i think of her. The point is what the difference btw acceptance and adjustment? She knew that i was short tempered. If she really loved me she would accept me rather than adjusting. If she accept the fact iam short tempered problm would have been solved. All relation ship need acceptance and adjustments.I never cheated her. But loved her. I even blackmail her to get back her. Thats the problm. During that time i didnt even know how to handle the situation so it broke up. Even if anyone is angry dnt breakup or leave . To him you may be the world.

I was with a guy for a year, he was so into me at first, and i couldnt take it. After time, i realised how much i loved him. We broke up once, and he came to me, and my family and told us he'd never ever hurt me again,and that he loved me more than anything.After that we slowly started arguing more during ttime before exams, and it got so stressful. Then out of the blue, he ended it. Just before my really important exams. I felt i lost a best friend, my boyfriend and part of my family. He told me he didnt love me, and that i was a waste of a year. 3 weeks after now, he still can reduce me to tears. I was in love with the guy who loved me. He is now a different person, and it kills me that he doesnt love me back. I would of done anything for him, and every day i miss him. But he is a changed person. And he isnt the person i loved. Hopefully one day he will realise the hurt he has put me through. But no matter how much that person has hurt you, and no matter how many people tell you that it will get easier, it doesnt help the fact you feel like your whole world has crumbled. You have to be strong, and belive you deserve better than what that person did to you. Real love will never just go away. I guess i have learnt to be more doubtfull of what people say now, cos looking back, i dont know what was lies and what wasnt.

dunia hati - Forgetting Someone in 8 Steps: Mending a Broken Heart

Romantic relationships can be really complicated and end up in a bad breakup. The worst thing about these "sad endings" is that at least one heart ends up broken. Getting over a break up can be tough. Sometimes, it's even hard for both sides--after all, breaking up is not easy to do. It hurts to throw away your story with someone--all the good memories and the dreams and plans you two had for the future. Mending a broken heart takes time and patience. But you must face the fact that your heart is broken. It doesn't matter if you wish things could be different or if you even regret something you did. It doesn't matter if you think you shouldn't have become that involved with that person or if you're angry and looking for revenge. The fact is: Your heart is broken! This relationship advice can help.

Even if the only thing you want to do is win your partner back - and by the way, if you're interested in doing this then I strongly recommend The Magic of Making Up - when a relationship is truly over, it's time to begin the healing process.

So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time 'round? Is mending a broken heart even possible? Of course it is! With this relationship advice, getting over a break up is possible. There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart! And the best thing is: It all depends on you! Here's how to forget someone in 8 steps.

Step 1 : Cry out everything you have to cry about!

When we get hurt, it's normal (and good) to cry. Don't ever think you're being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it! It's normal and it's good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!

Step 2 : Get busy!

When you're trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words...get busy! It doesn't matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn't matter what are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn't have time or space to think about the person you're trying to forget.

Step 3 : Spend some time with your friends.

Friends arealways great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you're trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won't be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they're going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it!

Step 4 : Avoid the person!

Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you're trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it gets hard to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, just be nice and kind, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can't avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won't have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.

Step 5 : Go out and see some different faces!

Being at home gives you more time to think about it, which makes the process even more difficult. So even if you're not feeling excited or you're in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you're trying to forget is not the only one who's got a perfect smile and an amazing voice...thank god, there are other interesting people around the world, too!

Step 6 : Avoid every kind of romantic thing!

If you're trying to forget someone, you'd better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you're trying to get rid of. It doesn't matter if it's a song you love or if it's playing on the radio...just change the station or do something else! Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!

Step 7 : Take good care of yourself.

Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you're hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done...do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!

Step 8 : Accept the process!

You can be really strong and it's still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that! You can't hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years...and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it's not easy and it's going to take some time. When you're patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier...

Well, of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it's hard but I'm sure you can do it! The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don' ever forget that! If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong...you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for! So believe that. Believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life's waiting for you, baby!

dunia hati - Recovering From a Broken Heart - Build Inner Strength and Win Your Ex Back

There may not be a quick fix for recovering from a broken heart, but there are definitely ways to speed up the process. Unfortunately, most people make this process much longer and more painful than necessary. The fact is that you have a lot more personal power to change your situation than you realize. And that includes the power to win back your ex if that's what you truly desire.You've probably heard the expression "whatever you resist, persists." This is especially true when trying to recover from a broken heart. The more you fight your painful feelings the stronger they will become and the more they will "persist."

The key to feeling better right now is to have a sense of acceptance for your situation right now rather than constantly fighting it. This can give you some immediate peace and relief once you are able to do this.

If getting back together with your ex is what you want, then make sure you're not "fighting" to get back together. The more you "try" to get them back, the more they will resist you. This is totally normal human behavior. If your ex senses that you're chasing them, then their natural reaction will be to take you for granted and pull away from you... the exact opposite of what you're trying to accomplish.

You're probably feeling very anxious to get back together and these anxious feelings can cause you to start acting desperate. Make sure you don't do this. Your ex knows you very well and can sense the slightest bit of desperation on your part. If you're constantly pushing to get back together but don't seem to be making any progress, this is a sign that you need to totally back off for a while.

This means no more contact for at least a few weeks. Take a break and work on improving your life and build up your independence and inner strength. This break will give your ex time to miss you plus they will no longer feel pressured from you to get back together. This is a strong first step towards recovering from a broken heart and sets the stage for a successful reunion.

Can you win your ex back? Yes... but only if you avoid the common mistakes almost EVERYONE makes. Read more free tips on recovering from a broken heart and EXACTLY what to do and say to get your ex back in your arms (there's also a video you can watch on how to do this successfully.)

dunia hati - HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY STRONG-GAINING CONTROL OVER YOUR EMOTIONS

The other day I was at a party and we were all chatting along and all of a sudden the question came up: “isn’t anyone happy anymore?” Actually there was a male in our group and started sharing with us that he dates women frequently, but the relationships always seem to end the same way. He said, “All the women I meet don’t just have so much emotional baggage, they have cargo!”

Do you have friends who have these emotions like: resentment and bitterness, depression, grief, gloom and despair? We all have emotions, but I believe one of the main goals of every person should be emotional stability. We should seek God to learn how to manage our emotions and not allow them to manage us.

God wants you to use wisdom. Before you do something, wisdom says wait a little while until the emotions settle down, then check to see if you really believe it’s the right thing to do. The Bible says in Colossians 3:15 to be led by peace in making decisions. Don’t let your emotions make your decisions. A good statement to remember is this: “Wisdom says wait; emotions say hurry.

Most people (I am not talking about you and I) approach life like a roller-coaster ride at an amusement park. They allow their lives to happen to them. They strap themselves in and with grim determination; they hang on during the ups, downs, excitement and fear. They don’t have a clue how much stress they have on the inside of them.

The longer the ride lasts, the more accustomed they become to the knots in their stomachs and the tension in their neck. We seem to have forgotten that there might be a different way to live. I don’t know about you, but when I get off a roller-coaster ride, I feel very wobbly in the knees. An emotional roller coaster can also cause a person to be a little wobbly – unsure, unstable, stressed-out, weak and incapable of functioning to the fullest.

Emotional roller coasters sap people of physical and psychological health, often leaving the mind and the body almost without energy and strength.

I have said this before that I had a sister who died due to anorexia. I remember the time that she started this deadly behaviour. I was only 14 and she was 17/18; she was not happy for who knows what the reason was. She started to have these emotional outbursts of anger and bitterness. There was a time that it looked like the emotions started to settle down, but the fact was that she started to cope with it by starving herself and not giving herself room to be who she really was. It had an effect on our whole family.

My other sister got married, seemed to be very happy on the outside. After my parents had died she became depressed and suicidal; very angry and bitter at everybody around her. Her emotions became too much for her, because she didn’t learn how to manage her emotions but allowed them to manage her. At this moment she and one of her daughters are in a mental hospital.

Do you want to know what happened to me? During a time of deep distress in my life God came and visited me in my own home, He picked me up and delivered me out of darkness into His marvellous light. He changed me on the inside, delivered me completely from smoking 2 packages of cigarettes a day and from nail biting instantly, He also completely healed my marriage. Of course there were and are some areas that I have to work through. He never told us that life would be easy, but if we do life together with Him, life is so much easier.

I am telling you all this because I know that emotions can be very deadly and very toxic. Many people suffer depression, fear, worry, stress and try to cope with it. Mother Teresa said that the greatest disease of mankind is the absence of love. I couldn’t agree more. Your answer to you feeling like this is that you start to realize that you are valuable and priceless.

The Bible encourages us strongly that we are to love others as we love ourselves. Matth.22:39 and Lev. 19:18. You know, to be able to love begins in receiving God’s love and then learning to love ourselves. How are you able to love yourself? By having feelings of worthiness, value and purpose in life.

“You are beautiful!” Is this a compliment to you? Well, it was meant to be, because YOU ARE beautiful. God says that about you! You are valuable to Him; He loves you as nobody else can love you.Whoever you are and wherever you are, you are precious, priceless and extremely important to an amazing God in heaven. He knows your name. He sees your life and he cares about the inner desires of your heart.

Walking in love is a choice and acting on that choice takes effort. Love means that you turn yourself inside out for others, to turn your thinking upside down from the way the vast majority of people in the world think. A person who makes a commitment to walk in love is a person who nearly always discovers he has made a very extreme decision. Walking in love requires not only an intentional, initial choice, but an ongoing intentional choice.

Loving as God loves requires practice, practice, practice. Practice and not being jealous, proud, rude, or selfish and you are on your way to attain happiness and live the life you desire.

dunia hati - 9 Principles To Live By - To Be Mentally And Emotionally Strong!

Here are 9 principles of purposeful living. We ought to know what are best for us by growing instead of just getting by. Listen first before answering, worry less, fear not, let the Divine's will be done, not us. Do not take problems to bed, do not wallow in self-pity and count our blessings that all of us have plenty.

[1] You should not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

Worry is a negative state of mind which deals with the same problem over and over again, yet nothing is solved.

[2] You should not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

Fear is the opposite of confidence. It is also another negative emotion where it deals with uncertainty and loses heart easily. How can one win when one feels defeated even before the game has started?

[3] You should not cross bridges before you get to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this. Deal with each problem as it comes, you can handle only one at a time anyway.

Let God's will be done, not ours. What will happen will happen for a good cause. One cannot deal with unseen problems though one can learn to troubleshoot.

[4] You should not take problems to bed with you for they make very poor bedfellows.

Problems are not solved when one go to sleep, be rested proper to have our energies and spirits renewed to stand tall to face all challenges the next day..

[5] You should not borrow other people's problems. They can take better care of them than you can.

There are numerous other people's problems beyond one's expectations and understandings. Learn to tackle our own problems before giving a hand to others. Solve our own problems before minding other people's problems.

[6] You should not try to relive yesterday for good or bad... it has already gone! Concentrate on what is happening in your life today.

There is no use crying over spilt milk. Be geared towards moving a step at a time. 'Yesterday was a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, Today is ready cash, Use it to the fullest!' That was what people used to say.

[7] You should be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is very hard to learn something new when you are talking.

We have a pair of ears but only one mouth. Be patient to speak before understanding. Our mouths serve us best when in accord with inner conscience where Truth dwells..

[8] You should not become bogged down by frustration, for 90 percent of it is rooted in self-pity, and it will only interfere with positive action.

Self-pity is the web that spins miseries and traps oneself with their 'self-dug-pits' or dungeons. Slithering snakes and crawling insects will be your friends while in the darkness of frustrations.

[9] You should count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one!

For every blessings known to you, there are hundreds more that you don't know. Have heart in all you do. Always be grateful in all we have. Gratitude is a virtue for all. Gratitude is a key to peace of mind and heart.

When one seeks to assuage the suffering of others, it is really one's own suffering that one mitigates the relief. When one direct one's attention to the inner-self, which is Truth, one will perceive the same Divinity to be present in all. Thus it makes up these 9 principles to live by.........

dunia hati - Improving Emotional Health STRATEGIES AND TIPS FOR GOOD MENTAL HEALTH

People who are emotionally healthy are in control of their emotions and their behavior. They are able to handle life’s inevitable challenges, build strong relationships, and lead productive, fulfilling lives. When bad things happen, they’re able to bounce back and move on.

Unfortunately, too many people take their mental and emotional health for granted – focusing on it only when they develop problems. But just as it requires effort to build or maintain physical health, so it is with mental and emotional health. The more time and energy you invest in your emotional health, the stronger it will be. The good news is that there are many things you can do to boost your mood, build resilience, and get more enjoyment out of life.

What is mental health or emotional health?

Mental or emotional health refers to your overall psychological well-being. It includes the way you feel about yourself, the quality of your relationships, and your ability to manage your feelings and deal with difficulties.Good mental health isn't just the absence of mental health problems. Being mentally or emotionally healthy is much more than being free of depression, anxiety, or other psychological issues. Rather than the absence of mental illness, mental and emotional health refers to the presence of positive characteristics. Similarly, not feeling bad is not the same as feeling good. While some people may not have negative feelings, they still need to do things that make them feel positive in order to achieve mental and emotional health. These positive characteristics of mental and emotional health allow you to participate in life to the fullest extent possible through productive, meaningful activities and strong relationships. These positive characteristics also help you cope when faced with life's challenges and stresses.

The role of resilience in mental and emotional health

Being emotionally and mentally healthy doesn’t mean never going through bad times or experiencing emotional problems. We all go through disappointments, loss, and change. And while these are normal parts of life, they can still cause sadness, anxiety, and stress. The difference is that people with good emotional health have an ability to bounce back from adversity, trauma, and stress. This ability is called resilience. People who are emotionally and mentally healthy have the tools for coping with difficult situations and maintaining a positive outlook. They remain focused, flexible, and creative in bad times as well as good.One of the key factors in resilience is the ability to balance stress and your emotions. The capacity to recognize your emotions and express them appropriately helps you avoid getting stuck in depression, anxiety, or other negative mood states. Another key factor is having a strong support network. Having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will boost your resilience in tough times.

Physical health is connected to mental and emotional health

Taking care of your body is a powerful first step towards mental and emotional health. The mind and the body are linked. When you improve your physical health, you’ll automatically experience greater mental and emotional well-being. For example, exercise not only strengthens our heart and lungs, but also releases endorphins, powerful chemicals that energize us and lift our mood.The activities you engage in and the daily choices you make affect the way you feel physically and emotionally.

-Get enough rest. To have good mental and emotional health, it’s important to take care of your body. That includes getting enough sleep. Most people need seven to eight hours of sleep each night in order to function optimally.

-Learn about good nutrition and practice it. The subject of nutrition is complicated and not always easy to put into practice. But the more you learn about what you eat and how it affects your energy and mood, the better you can feel.

-Exercise to relieve stress and lift your mood. Exercise is a powerful antidote to stress, anxiety, and depression. Look for small ways to add activity to your day, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator or going on a short walk. To get the most mental health benefits, aim for 30 minutes or more of exercise per day.

-Get a dose of sunlight every day. Sunlight lifts your mood, so try to get at least 10 to 15 minutes of sun per day. This can be done while exercising, gardening, or socializing.

-Limit alcohol and avoid cigarettes and other drugs. These are stimulants that may unnaturally make you feel good in the short term, but have long-term negative consequences for mood and emotional health.

Improve mental and emotional health by taking care of yourself

In order to maintain and strengthen your mental and emotional health, it’s important to pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Don’t let stress and negative emotions build up. Try to maintain a balance between your daily responsibilities and the things you enjoy. If you take care of yourself, you’ll be better prepared to deal with challenges if and when they arise.

Taking care of yourself includes pursuing activities that naturally release endorphins and contribute to feeling good. In addition to physical exercise, endorphins are also naturally released when we:

§ Do things that positively impact others. Being useful to others and being valued for what you do can help build self-esteem.

§ Practice self-discipline. Self-control naturally leads to a sense of hopefulness and can help you overcome despair, helplessness, and other negative thoughts.

§ Learn or discover new things. Think of it as “intellectual candy”. Try taking an adult education class, join a book club, visit a museum, learn a new language, or simply travel somewhere new.

§ Enjoy the beauty of nature or art. Studies show that simply walking through a garden can lower blood pressure and reduce stress. The same goes for strolling through a park or an art gallery, hiking, admiring architecture, or sitting on a beach.

§ Manage your stress levels. Stress takes a heavy toll on mental and emotional health, so it’s important to keep it under control. While not all stressors can be avoided, stress management strategies can help you bring things back into balance.

§ Limit unhealthy mental habits like worrying. Try to avoid becoming absorbed by repetitive mental habits – negative thoughts about yourself and the world that suck up time, drain your energy, and trigger feelings of anxiety, fear, and depression.

More tips and strategies for taking care of yourself:

§ Appeal to your senses. Stay calm and energized by appealing to the five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Listen to music that lifts your mood, place flowers where you will see and smell them, massage your hands and feet, or sip a warm drink.

§ Engage in meaningful, creative work. Do things that challenge your creativity and make you feel productive, whether or not you get paid for it – things like gardening, drawing, writing, playing an instrument, or building something in your workshop.

§ Get a pet. Yes, pets are a responsibility, but caring for one makes you feel needed and loved. There is no love quite as unconditional as the love a pet can give. Animals can also get you out of the house for exercise and expose you to new people and places.

§ Make leisure time a priority. Do things for no other reason than that it feels good to do them. Go to a funny movie, take a walk on the beach, listen to music, read a good book, or talk to a friend. Doing things just because they are fun is no indulgence. Play is an emotional and mental health necessity.

§ Make time for contemplation and appreciation. Think about the things you’re grateful for.Mediate, pray, enjoy the sunset, or simply take a moment to pay attention to what is good, positive, and beautiful as you go about your day.

Everyone is different; not all things will be equally beneficial to all people. Some people feel better relaxing and slowing down while others need more activity and more excitement or stimulation to feel better. The important thing is to find activities that you enjoy and that give you a boost.

Supportive relationships: The foundation of emotional health

No matter how much time you devote to improving your mental and emotional health, you will still need the company of others to feel and be your best. Humans are social creatures with an emotional need for relationships and positive connections to others. We’re not meant to survive, let alone thrive, in isolation. Our social brains crave companionship—even when experience has made us shy and distrustful of others.Social interaction—specifically talking to someone else about your problems—can also help to reduce stress. The key is to find a supportive relationship with someone who is a “good listener”—someone you can talk to regularly, preferably face-to-face, who will listen to you without a pre-existing agenda for how you should think or feel. A good listener will listen to the feelings behind your words, and won’t interrupt or judge or criticize you. The best way to find a good listener? Be a good listener yourself. Develop a friendship with someone you can talk to regularly, and then listen and support each other.

Tips and strategies for connecting to others:

§ Get out from behind your TV or computer screen. Screens have their place but they will never have the same effect as an expression of interest or a reassuring touch. Communication is a largely nonverbal experience that requires you to be in direct contact with other people, so don’t neglect your real-world relationships in favor of virtual interaction.

§ Spend time daily, face-to-face, with people you like. Make spending time with people you enjoy a priority. Choose friends, neighbors, colleagues, and family members who are upbeat, positive, and interested in you. Take time to inquire about people you meet during the day that you like.

§ Volunteer. Doing something that helps others has a beneficial effect on how you feel about yourself. The meaning and purpose you find in helping others will enrich and expand your life. There is no limit to the individual and group volunteer opportunities you can explore. Schools, churches, nonprofits, and charitable organization of all sorts depend on volunteers for their survival.

§ Be a joiner. Join networking, social action, conservation, and special interest groups that meet on a regular basis. These groups offer wonderful opportunities for finding people with common interests – people you like being with who are potential friends.

Risk factors for mental and emotional problems

Your mental and emotional health has been and will continue to be shaped by your experiences. Early childhood experiences are especially significant. Genetic and biological factors can also play a role, but these too can be changed by experience.

Risk factors that can compromise mental and emotional health:

§ Poor connection or attachment to your primary caretaker early in life. Feeling lonely, isolated, unsafe, confused, or abused as an infant or young child.

§ Traumas or serious losses, especially early in life. Death of a parent or other traumatic experiences such as war or hospitalization.

§ Learned helplessness. Negative experiences that lead to a belief that you’re helpless and that you have little control over the situations in your life.

§ Illness, especially when it’s chronic, disabling, or isolates you from others.

§ Side effects of medications, especially in older people who may be taking a variety of medications.

§ Substance abuse. Alcohol and drug abuse can both cause mental health problems and make preexisting mental or emotional problems worse.

Whatever internal or external factors have shaped your mental and emotional health, it’s never too late to make changes that will improve your psychological well-being. Risk factors can be counteracted with protective factors, like strong relationships, a healthy lifestyle, and coping strategies for managing stress and negative emotions.

When to seek professional help for emotional problems

If you’ve made consistent efforts to improve your mental and emotional health and you still don’t feel good – then it’s time to seek professional help. Because we are so socially attuned, input from a knowledgeable, caring professional can motivate us to do things for ourselves that we were not able to do on our own.

Red flag feelings and behaviors that may require immediate attention

§ Inability to sleep.

§ Feeling down, hopeless, or helpless most of the time.

§ Concentration problems that are interfering with your work or home life.

§ Using nicotine, food, drugs, or alcohol to cope with difficult emotions.

§ Negative or self-destructive thoughts or fears that you can’t control.

§ Thoughts of death or suicide.

If you identify with any of these red flag symptoms, consider making an appointment with a mental health professional.