As we continue to work with our relationship breakthrough coaching clients,
nearly every one we've ever talked to after a break-up or divorce has said that they've been told by someone that the most important factor in the healing process is time.
Unfortunately, the people who say that "time" is the most important factor in healing after a break-up are WRONG.
While we agree that time passing is important in the healing process, it's simply not the only factor or even the most important factor in healing as some people believe it is.
If time passing (maybe 6 months) is the only thing that needs to happen in order for you to heal your pain and broken heart, then all you would need to do is let a certain amount of time pass and poof-- just like magic-- your pain would disappear and your heart would be healed.
Unfortunately, this isn't the way the healing process works. It isn't just the time that's important. It's what you do with that time that determines whether you heal your heart or not.
If time passing was the most important factor in healing after a break-up or divorce, then it would be like having a baby. If all goes well, about 9 months later, out comes a healthy new baby boy or girl.
If it worked the same way in healing after a break-up, a certain amount of time would pass and "presto" your heart would magically be healed and you would then be able to go into a new relationship without any baggage from your past.
If this were the way it really was, it would be great. But the truth is that we all know people who've experienced a relationship break-up or divorce and many months or years later, they are still angry, bitter and holding onto the pain of that past relationship.
If you ever hope to heal your heart and find the courage to truly open yourself up to love again, you're going to have to do some things besides simply letting time pass.